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Let’s admit it: you stayed in that relationship for years and even after seeing 532 red flags because of both the good parts AND the bad parts.
Let me say that again. The BAD aspects were also part of why you stayed, perhaps because they gave you permission to play a certain role, perhaps the saviour or the struggling tragic martyr, that you are clearly a good person because THEY are the bad person, or whatever it is that the story may be.
What’s the best way to help the people we care about?
In order for psychotherapy to be in any way productive and beneficial, it must be built on a framework where freedom of choice is elevated as the highest ideal. If we do not nurture this thought properly, then the whole effort will fall flat on its face, because the only person who can bring about real, deep, and meaningful change in your life, is YOU.
Don’t expect any magic bullets, because there aren’t any.
Life is unfair, and as Chuck Pahlaniuk points out in his glorious book 'Fight Club', "On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero". If there was ever such a thing as a rule of life, that's probably it.